Tonight was the first night that you let me down-
And it scared me.
For tonight was the first night that you let me down-
And I hate to say
that I know it won't be the last.
And these hours were the first of many
during which I found myself confronted with
the tangible temporariness
of our human condition.
I want you, I want you-
I want you to help me pretend that
this is all worth something.
Is it your validation-
or a lack thereof-
that drives me?
The fear of dependence erects a transparent wall
between true fulfillment and desperate longing.
My tender vulnerability is such an ill-camouflaged target,
a wounded animal exuding
sweet fresh blood
amidst predators.
To think of only one week ago when you ached for my company
is a fond memory
that only makes tonight more lonely.
How to hold onto that which is inherently momentary
may be naught but a parnassian quest.
So tonight I let myself feel
the sting of disappointment that can only wound me
because
I really do believe in you.
And I'd like to hope that, just maybe, tonight
was the first night that I
let you down too.
And it scared me.
For tonight was the first night that you let me down-
And I hate to say
that I know it won't be the last.
And these hours were the first of many
during which I found myself confronted with
the tangible temporariness
of our human condition.
I want you, I want you-
I want you to help me pretend that
this is all worth something.
Is it your validation-
or a lack thereof-
that drives me?
The fear of dependence erects a transparent wall
between true fulfillment and desperate longing.
My tender vulnerability is such an ill-camouflaged target,
a wounded animal exuding
sweet fresh blood
amidst predators.
To think of only one week ago when you ached for my company
is a fond memory
that only makes tonight more lonely.
How to hold onto that which is inherently momentary
may be naught but a parnassian quest.
So tonight I let myself feel
the sting of disappointment that can only wound me
because
I really do believe in you.
And I'd like to hope that, just maybe, tonight
was the first night that I
let you down too.